Giving Poems

         One of my family’s most beloved Christmas traditions is that we write poems to give along with the gifts under the tree.  Here’s how it works.

        1. When you give a gift, you write a poem to go with it.  In theory the poems hint at the gifts, but since they always seem to give it away outright, the giver reads the poem aloud at the same time as the gift is being opened, so as not to spoil the surprise.

        2. While serious poems are certainly acceptable, they’re very rare – wonky rhythm and grammar are tolerated, ridiculous eccentric rhymes are applauded, and references to in-jokes and family lore are gleefully encouraged.  Gift poems can be as short as limericks or even haiku, they can spoof famous poems or song lyrics, and they’re most often just a few couplets of doggerel.

        3. Each giving unit writes one poem for each receiving unit.  In other words, even if you give someone more than one gift you don’t need to write more than one poem; you can just pick one gift to write a poem for.  If the gift is for 2 people together, it’s still just one poem, and likewise if you’re giving gifts jointly, only one poem is necessary.  (My husband is happy to leave all our poem-writing to me, while my brother and his girlfriend sit down and write their poems together, and my children divvy up their gift list and each write half the necessary poems.  Whatever method people are happiest with is the right way to do it.)

        4. All poems are gratefully accepted with cheering and acclaim, no matter how simple or silly.  Just have fun with it!  It’s not a competition, and nor is it to be taken seriously.  Does it add to the holiday stress?  Well, perhaps a little, because it is one more thing you have to find time to accomplish — but it definitely shouldn’t be adding anxiety.

        As I said, these holiday poems are never in competition, but it’s still the case that over the years I’ve written some I was more pleased with than others.  Here are just a few that have given me particular satisfaction to present (and which are actually intelligible to people who don’t know all our family in-jokes).

        A Bundt cake pan for my sister-in-law

Consider the circle, a wonderful thing.

Without it, no wheel – and no tire swing.

We need it for zero, without which: no math;

We need it for lids, and the drain of the bath.

We need it for hamster wheels, bagels, and bowls,

For Christmas wreaths, bracelets, and anything that rolls.

Without any circle there’d be no letter O,

Which we need for October, oolong, and oboe,

Not to mention Ohio, O’Keeffe, and o’clock.

Yes, losing the circle would be a bad shock.

Just image the losses sustained when we bake:

Without any circle there’d be no Bundt cake!

        A set of prints of a rooster and chicken for my father

I know an old man with some chickens,

Whose heart at the sight of them quickens.

       He demands with a scowl,

       “Who says chickens are foul?

“Such bigoted speech simply sickens!” 

        A pair of shorts for my mother

The Greeks performed athletic feats untroubled by attire.

They thought a dash of olive oil all that modesty required.

But our mother’s far more modest when she's working to perspire;

She considered all the angles and deduced what she desired.

 

She wanted something comfy: cotton fabric, stretchy waist;

And washable plus sturdy, as her regimen's fast-paced;

Yet nothing too revealing, as her fashion sense is chaste.

What could I find to clothe her in accordance with her taste?

 

In careful consultation I examined all reports,

Considered the demands of her activities and sports,

And contemplated what would be the best as she cavorts.

At last I settled on this gift.  Spoiler alert!  It's shorts.

        A bicycle rear view mirror for my brother

Philosophers are fond of stating

How terrible it is to focus

On things behind us, advocating

Our minds dwell on the current locus.

 

I disagree with the cognoscente;

It’s wise to look in each direction.

This gift gives hindsight 20-20

And the opportunity for reflection.

        You get the idea; now it’s your turn!  Everyone’s holiday traditions are different, of course, so by all means adapt these ideas to your own circumstances.  Whether your circle is large or small, whether you can be with people in person or have to use Zoom or mail, the important thing is to reach out to the friends and family for whom you’re most grateful, and show them that you spent a little extra time thinking about them - not to mention sharing a laugh!  Whether poetry sounds like Elizabeth Barrett Browning, or like Hallmark, or like a mangled limerick, it can draw us together in shared appreciation of the gifts we give each other, our presence in each other’s lives, and what we mean to each other.

[Pictures: Festive Gift, digital collage of block print bits by AEGNydam, 2025;

Chanticleer and Hen & Chicks, rubber block prints by AEGNydam, 2009, (about which the limerick was written!)  Originals sold out.]