April 12, 2018

K is for Kyle

Hi Grandma,
         You know how Kyle’s always late to everything?  Well, so when everyone else was in class and the teacher had already started, he came strolling in through the door ten minutes late all pleased thinking he was on time for once.  It was like he didn’t even notice class had already begun.  He walked right across the front of the room, right in front of Ms Tulip, who was standing at the whiteboard staring at him in the middle of writing out something about man vs man and man vs nature, with one eyebrow raised.  Kyle waved at me, and called out “Hey, Zack!” to his friend, and plopped his books on his desk with a big clatter...  
         So finally Ms Tulip says in that total teacher voice, “It’s good of you to join us this afternoon, Kyle.  Do let us know when you’re quite ready for the rest of us to continue with our lesson.”  And Kyle looked around, and it’s like he suddenly realized for the first time that he’d just walked into the middle of class, and he looked exactly like a balloon popping!  His books fell out of his hands and he just drooped down into his chair with this look of utter disappointment - only he’d already pushed his chair aside, so he actually collapsed all the way down onto the floor in a heap, and everyone started laughing.  But that’s not all – on his way down he must have hit the edge of a notebook on the edge of the chair, and the notebook flipped up and catapulted his copy of “Treasure Island” up in the air, and it nearly hit the ceiling and when Kyle looked up with his mouth hanging open to see it, the book came back down right on his face!  It was SOOOOO funny!  People were falling out of their chairs laughing.  Even John was laughing!  It sure made a nice change not to be the one he was laughing at!  And when Ms Tulip told Kyle he’d have to come in after school to make up the part of the lesson he missed, his face fell even farther and he cried, “But I can’t stay after today!  I have to take my hermit crab to the vet!” and everyone laughed even harder!
         Ms Tulip said in full discipline voice, “That’s enough, class!  Kyle, you’ll have to come in briefly, but perhaps we can arrange another time for you to make up the lesson.  I’d hate to make it any harder for you to get to an appointment on time.”  That was really funny, too, but by then we didn’t dare laugh any more because when Ms Tulip says “That’s enough,” we know she’s serious.  Anyway, the whole thing was hysterical!  You should have seen it!
                  - Danny

        Kyle from The Bad Advice of Grandma Hasenfuss, an epistolary tall tale for middle grade readers.  More information here, or “Look inside” at Amazon.

[Picture: Hermit Crab, rubber block print by AEGN, 2006.]

A-Z Challenge, all posts for the letter K

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