April 7, 2018

G is for Grandma

Dearest Danny,
        I don’t know what you’re talking about saying I don’t like the quiet life.  Of course I do – it’s never my fault I have so many adventures!  The xenosaurs are a case in point.  I never asked to go to China.  It was a friend of mine who’s a biologist at the university who asked me to join the expedition just because she needed someone who could kayak, sky-dive, translate the Guilin dialect, and identify and tag the reptiles.  But you make a good point – this will probably be my only opportunity to explore the full range of capabilities of Auntie Jane’s titanium all-in-one adventure survival crochet hook that was reviewed in Adventure Needlecraft a few months ago.  Its solar-powered UV water purifier looks pretty nifty, and I’m particularly tempted at the prospect of using its cable-dart function.  Plus, with its GPS tracking I can’t get lost.  Auntie Jane’s makes lots of other interesting products, too.  I might even get to try out the power-generating knitting needle set which is still under development.  The rumor is that at 78 spm (stitches per minute) you can run an induction stove.  The possibilities are intriguing!
        I’m glad the principal seems to understand that you’re doing nothing wrong.  I’d hate to see my only grandson suspended under suspicion of felonious zombie activities!
        As for Project Kyle, it sounds like you did an excellent job.  Please be sure to report on its success.
                Yours with crossed fingers and toes, Grandma

        Grandma Hasenfuss from The Bad Advice of Grandma Hasenfuss, an epistolary tall tale for middle grade readers.  More information here, or “Look inside” at Amazon.

[Picture:  Grandma Hasenfuss snaring a charging rhino, illustration by AEGN, 2010.]

A-Z Challenge, all posts for the letter G.

1 comment:

Kristin said...

"...feloneous zombie"??? Yikes!